Who are you becoming?
That’s a question recently posed to our church during a teaching series and its one that I have been giving quite a lot of thought to. As a Christ-follower, I want to become more like Christ. And one way to become more like Christ is to practice gentleness towards others.
When it comes to Jesus there are numerous examples where he displayed gentleness in the Scriptures. But I would like to highlight one intense interaction between Jesus and the religious leaders of the day:
“At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in
adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?”
They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.
But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let anyone of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” Again, he stooped down and wrote on the ground.
At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. John 8:1-9
What started as a classroom environment with Jesus as the teacher… is interrupted by the wailing of this woman and the verbal assaults of her accusers. I imagine this scene unfolding with her being dragged, or at the very least being manhandled by this group of men. And then violently thrown to the ground in front of Jesus. You can see how this quickly became a very emotionally charged atmosphere.
There’s a lot to this passage isn’t there? The woman of course was caught, red-handed, in the actual act of having sexual relations with someone other than her husband. Her accusers cite The Law of Moses that says,
"'If a man commits adultery with another man's wife--with the wife of his neighbor--both the adulterer and the adulteress are to be put to death.” Leviticus 20:10
So, the obvious question is…where is the man? How come he wasn’t dragged before Jesus also? Some scholars think that the Pharisees weren’t all that interested in the man or even the woman for all that matter. It was all a trap because ultimately it was Jesus that they were after.
But here is this woman sobbing before Jesus, guilty as charged. She knows it, everybody knows it, including Jesus. What do you think this woman is feeling? My guess is she’s feeling lonely, she’s certainly scared and unsure of what the future holds, perhaps she has even resigned herself to her fate.
One thing I’m certain she was feeling is shame.
Shame is a very powerful emotion, isn’t it? It’s the idea that you haven’t just done a bad thing, but that you are a bad person. Dr. Brene Brown is a researcher who specializes in shame. She says at its core:
“Shame is the fear of disconnection.”
Because we are relational creatures, she goes on to say:
“Shame is the fear that something we’ve done or failed to do, an ideal that we’ve not lived up to, or a goal that we’ve not accomplished makes us unworthy of connection.”
The woman in our story is certainly disconnected, isn’t she?
Now imagine yourself in her place by thinking of the worst thing you have ever done. And now that thing is out in the open for all to see. That’s what is happening to this woman. When you read the passage, with that thought in your mind, you can immediately identify with her can’t you? If that thing you are most ashamed of
in your life was known to the rest of the world, what is it you would most need from people? What would you most need from God? You would probably most desire someone to offer you forgiveness, you would want someone to have empathy toward you…someone to extend gentleness.
As the tension hangs in the air everyone wants to know what is Jesus is going to do. The Pharisees were
right of course, under the Law of Moses the woman had committed a capital offense. But how would Jesus respond?
In this woman’s time of greatest need, when she was literally at the mercy of her captors, and her life hung in the balance. She needed someone to save her. And as her captors slowly walked away Jesus looked the woman in the eye and asked,
“Where are your accusers? Has no one condemned you?”
“No one sir!”
“Then neither do I, go and sin no more.” John 8:10-11
A question for you? Do you think that woman’s life was drastically changed because of the gentleness
Jesus extended to her? He could have just as easily lectured the woman about her guilt in breaking one of the 10 Commandments. He could have just as easily told her how he saved her life. But as Dr. Brown reminds us,
“You cannot shame or belittle people into changing their behaviors.”
My guess is this woman’s life was greatly impacted by this act of gentleness. And the thing about gentleness, like forgiveness, when it is extended to you, and you experience it on a deep level; you are compelled to extend the same gentleness to others.
“A gentle person treads lightly, listens carefully, looks tenderly, and touches with reverence. A gentle person knows that true growth requires nurture, not force.” Henri Nouwen
Let’s go practice gentleness towards others today.
Gentleness